Mukobwa, menya uko wakwirinda kubabara igihe uri gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina 
Monday 29 August 2011

Niba uri umukobwa cyangwa umudamu, ukaba ubabara igihe uri gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, hari uko wakwitwara ntuzongere kubabara.
Biragoye cyane kubasha kumenya uko imibonano mpuzabitsina yagenze neza kandi irimo ibyishimo imera, keretse ku wigeze kuyikora akaryoherwa; ibi ntawakwirwa abishidikanyaho.
Hari abakobwa n’abagore bamwe bababara cyane iyo bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ku buryo kuri bo kuyikora aba ari nko kwiyahura cyangwa kwigirizaho.

Mbere y’uko twinjira kuri iyi ngingo, reka tubanze turebe imiterere y’igitsina gore kugira ngo tuze kubasha kureba uko ubu buribwe bwakwirindwa.
Kugira ngo ibi ubimenye neza, fata indorerwamo uyishyire ahagana hasi, hanyuma ubeyureho (wigizeyo) imishino y’igitsina cyawe, uzabona uko imwe n’imwe mu myanya ndangagitsina y’imbere yawe iteye.
Hejuru gato hari rugongo, igizwe n’akugara k’uruhu gato kabyimbye. Hari igihe kaba katagaragara na mba cyangwa kakaba kagaragara igice kubera indi myanya igatwikiriye.
Ukomeje kubeyura, imbere hari imigoma (labia minora), itwikiriye akobo gasohokeramo inkari. Munsi ya kano kobo hari akenge (akobo) k’inda ibyara (vagina)
Akenge k’inda ibyara (vagina) hari igihe kaba gatwikiweho gato n’akugara k’umubiri gato bita urutezo (Hymen). Urutezo ni akugara kenshi kaba karemwe nk’igice cy’ukwezi, gatwikiriye igice cyo hasi cy’ubwinjiriro bw’inda ibyara. Akenshi aka kugara kavaho iyo umukobwa akoze imibonano mpuzabitsina ye ya mbere.
Kubera ukuntu aka kugara kaba koroshye, iyo umukobwa akoze imibonano mpuzabitsina isanzwe kandi yateguwe, bituma agira uburyaryate ariko butagera ku kigero cyo kuba yakumva ababara cyane ndetse rimwe na rimwe kuri iyi mibonano ya mbere umukobwa ashobora kuva uturaso tutari twinshi gusa hari n’igihe utu turaso tutava.
Ubusanzwe igitsina cy’umugore kigaragiwe n’inyama zisa nk’izikubakubye (collapsed musles), umuntu yagereranya nk’igipampara cyavuyemo umuti wo koza amenyo(toothpaste). Ariko iyo umukobwa cyangwa umudamu yashyutswe, izi nyama zirarekura igitsina cye kikaba kinini (kikabyimba). Uko igitsina cy’umugabo cyaba kingana kose ntibyakibuza kwinjira mu cy’umugore.
Igitsina cy’umugore kandi gifite ubushobozi bwo gukweduka; umutwe w’umwana ugacamo mu gihe umugore ari kubyara. Ni yo mpamvu igihe cyose abakundana babiri (couple) bumva ko ikibazo cy’ingano by’ibitsina byabo ari cyo gituma umwe ababara mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ntibiba ari byo.
Impamvu z’uburibwe ahubwo zareberwa ahandi. Niba umukobwa atinya gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa bikaba ngombwa ko mugenzi we w’umuhungu yinjiza ahata igitsina cye mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibi biba bisobanura ko kidafite ububobere buhagije kubera ko iyo umukobwa yashyukwe bya nyabyo, igitsina cye kirekura ururenda. Iyo bitameze gutya, umukobwa arababara.
Ikindi gishobora guteza ububare ni uko inyama zigaragiye igitsina hari ubwo ziba zigifuganye bigatuma mu gihe habaye imibonano mpuzabitsina umukobwa agira ububabare cyangwa se igitsina cy’umuhungu kikanga kwinjira. Iyo bimeze gutya, umugabo ashobora kwisanga arimo asa nk’ujomba ku gikuta gikomeye kitamwemerera kwinjiza igitsina cye mu cya mugenzi we. Ibi nabyo byatera ububabare.
Indi mpamvu ishobora guteza ibibazo by’uburibwe ni igihe umwe mu bayikora yumva atiteguye. Ushobora kuba wumva igihe cyo kuyikora kitaragera cyangwa utanyuzwe n’uwo mugiye kuryamana. Iki gihe ubwonko bwawe ntabwo bushobora gutanga itegeko ryo kurekura imisemburo ituma imibonano mpuzabitsina igenda neza.
Ubushakashatsi bwakorewe hirya no hino ku isi bwagaragaje ko umubare w’abakobwa n’abagore benshi utaryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina keretse iyo bayikorana n’umuntu bakundana bya nyabyo (rimwe na rimwe ndetse biba byiza iyo bamaranye igihe kinini).
Ni ngombwa rero ko igihe ukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ubanza kwitegura neza, ukumva ko umubiri wawe witeguye iki gikorwa kugira ngo mwembi muryoherwe.
Abagabo bamwe na bamwe bibwira ko byanze bikunze kugira ngo umugore cyangwa umukobwa yishime ari uko binjiza igitsina cyabo mu cy’umugore. Gusa, ni ngombwa kwibutsa ko ubusanzwe, umugore cyangwa umukobwa bimusaba igihe kingana n’inshuro enye cyangwa eshanu z’icyo umugabo amara kugira ngo yumve afite ubushake bwo guoraimibonano mpuzabitsina ari nabyo bituma mu gitsina cye haza ububobere bufasha mu migendekere myiza y’imibonano ndetse bikanarinda ko hagira ubabara.
Niyo mpamvu umugabo wawe cyangwa umusore w’inshuti yawe atagomba kwihutira kwinjiza igitsina cye mu cyawe atabanje kukubaza niba nawe ubyiteguye.
Kugira ngo umukobwa cyangwa umudamu agere kuri kiriya kigero cy’uko yumva yiteguye, ni ngombwa ko uwo bagiye kugirana imibonano abimufashamo amukorakora kuri rogogo (ku bagore n’abakobwa iri niryo zingiro ryo kunyurwa no kunezerwa) cyangwa iruhande rwayo ndetse n’ahandi yumva hamunezeza iyo hakozwe.
Niba ukeka ko ikibazo gituma umubiri wawe uhora utiteguye gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina-ndetse wenda bikakuviramo kubabara- ari ubwoba ugira, imyitozo ikurikira izagufasha kumenya ibimenyetso umubiri wawe utanga iyo wageze ku kigero cy’ibishimo mu bigendanye no kuba witeguye gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Mbere na mbere, mubanze mwumvikane ku kuba ari nta mibonano muri bukore- nibuze habanze hashire akanya gahagije kugira ngo muze kubona umwanya uhagije wo gushimishanya ariko mudahuje ibitsina.
Umwitozo wa mbere: Tangira wikorakora (wikaresa) buhoro buhoro umubiri wose
Ibi ushobora no kubikora wikorera massage ariko ugakoresha utubaraga tugereranije.
Ushobora gukoresha isabune yo koga uri nko muri ‘douche’ cyangwa amavuta kugira ngo intoki zawe zize kubasha kunyerera buhoro buhoro ku mubiri.
Niwumva utangiye kunanirwa cyangwa utangiye gushyuha cyane, tangira wikorakore mu maso, ku matwi ndetse n’ inyuma y’ijosi ryawe. Niba ari nimugoroba ukaba wiriwe ukora imirimo ituma uhagarara cyane, banza wimase ibirenge n’amaguru.
Nyuma y’aho gerageza no kwikorakora ku bindi bice by’umubiri wawe utajya wiyumvisha ko kubikoraho hari uko wakumva uhinditsemo—mbese wenda ukumva ushaka nko guhuza urugwiro n’uwo mudahuje igitsina.
Wongere na none ubikore ikindi gihe, nyuma y’aho noneho ujye ku bindi bice bituma ubushake mu mubiri buhita buzamuka cyane.
Ntutinye ngo habe hari ahantu hasigara utahakoze. Ukorakore ku mabere, imoko nyuma ujye no ku bice by’imyanya ndangagitsina.
Abakobwa n’abagore batandukanira ku bintu bituma bagira ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Bamwe bashyirwayo (bumva bashaka gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane) ari uko hari ubakoze ku moko y’ibere cyangwa ku bindi bice by’ibyiyumviro(sensitive parts). Gusa, hari abagore ndetse n’abakobwa bazamuka mu byiyumviro byo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ari uko babanje gukorakorwa kuri rugongo (Clitoris).
Gerageza rero wikorakore (ukinishe) rugongo no ku bindi bice biyegereye ukorehseje uburyo butandukanye bwatuma wumva ibyishimo mu mubiri wawe bibaye byinshi.
Ikizakubwira ko washyizweyo ni uko imyanya y’imbere mu gitsina cyawe uzumva isa nk’irimo kurekurana yongera ifunganamo.
Umwitozo wa kabiri: Hitamo wowe n’umukunzi wawe, igihe n’ahantu hazira kirogoya
Mugomba kwitegura neza kandi ibi mukabikora mbere, kugira ngo mutaza kubura imbaraga zo gukoresha. Gerageza ushake umuziki utuje ndetse n’ikintu cyo kunywa — cyangwa se ikindi gishobora gutuma wumva utuje. Ni ngombwa ko amatara aba yaka mu cyumba.
Mu gutangira, mwifashijije amavuta [crème/cream] nkeya, wowe na mugenzi wawe mukorerane massage umubiri wose.
Mukobwa ntutinye kubwira mugenzi wawe ikigushimisha n’icyo wumva kitagushimisha. Mubwire niba caresses zoroheje ku mubiri ari zo wumva zikunyura cyangwa se niba hari igice cy’umubiri wawe wumva kugikandakanda bikunyura kurenza.
Mu gihe ibi birimo gukorwa ugomba kuba ari nta handi werekeje ibitekerezo byawe uretse ku gikorwa muri gukora muri ako kanya n’uko wumva umubiri wawe umerewe muri icyo gihe.
Gusa mu gihe muri gukora uyu “mwitozo” wo gufashanya kuzamura ibyiyumviro mu mubiri, ni byiza ko mwirinda gukorakorana ku myanya ndangabitsina yanyu. Ibi mugomba kubikora ari uko mwumva mwembi mwamaze kwitegura neza, mbese muri ku kigero kimwe cyo gukora igikorwa mpuzabitsina.
Kuri iyi ngingo, ikiba kigamijwe ni ugufashanya kugendera ku muvuduko umwe, ngo hataza kugira usimbuka ikiciro na kimwe.
Hanyuma, nimumara kumva umwanya wabyo ugeze, buri umwe ashobora noneho gutangira gukorakora mugenzi we cyane ariko umukobwa akibanda ku gukorakora “ubugabo” bw’umuhungu. gusa muri ili gihe umuhungu nawe ntagomba kuba ameze nk’intama itegereje ko bayitera imbugita kuko nawe agomba kuba ari gukorakora umukunzi we ahantu hatandukanye nko ku mabere , inyuma ku ijosi, mu nsina z’amatwi, kuri rugongo cyangwa se akaba yagera no mu gitsina nyirizina.
Hejuru y’ibi kandi, mwanagerageza kurigatana umubiri wowe; gusa ibi mugomba kubikora mwabanje gukaraba neza umubiri wose kandi mufite isuku ihagije.
Uku kurigatana rero na za caresse mwembi mukorerana nibyo bituma buri umwe muri mwe abasha kumenya igice cya mugenzi we kigira ibyuyumviro cyane (sensation)ku mubiri we bityo n’ubutaha akagerageza kumushimisha yifashishije cya gice.
Gusa tukiri kuri iyi ngingo, ni ngombwa ko mwembi mukora ibi kandi buri wese agakorera mugenzi we ibyo yumva bimunyuze. Ntawe ugomba guhatira mugenzi we kumukorera ikintu kandi wenda undi yumva atagishaka. Ni ngombwa ko mubanza kuganira ku bikorwa mwifashisha mu gushimishanya mu buriri. Nk’urugero, gukoresha umunwa cyangwa ururimi ku igitsina cya mugenzi wawe bisaba ko mubanza kubiganiraho mukabigiraho imyumvire imwe kugira ngo nimuza kugera mu gihe cyo kubikora ntihagire uhatira mugenzi we kumukorera ibyo we adashaka cyangwa adakunda.
Nimumara kumva mwese mwageze ku gasongero k’ibyishimo byamyu by’umubiri (climax), umuhungu/umugabo ashobora kwinjiza buhoro urutoki rwe mu gitsina cyawe, akuramo yongera arwinjizamo.
Nyuma, nimwumva mugejeje igihe cyo guhuza ibitsina (intercouse) kujya hejuru y’umuhungu (mbese nk’uwicaye ku ifarasi)kugira ngo ube ari wowe ubasha kugena indeshyo y’igitsina cy’umuhungu kigomba kwinjira mu cyawe ni bumwe mu buryo bwagufasha. Ibi ndetse binagufasha kwinjira cyane muri mugenzi wawe mu gihe muri ako kanya wumva aribyo biri kukunezeza.
Ibuka ko impamvu turi kuvuga ibi byose ari ugufasha abakobwa cyangwa abadamu bagira ububabare mu gihe cy’imibonano. Niyo mpamvu tukiri kuri iyi ngingo, umukobwa ari we ugomba kujya hejuru ya mugenzi we ndetse icyo gihe, umuhungu ntagomba kwihutira gucengeza igitsina cye mu cya mugenzi we w’umukobwa ahubwo agomba kureka umukobwa akaba ariwe ubwikorera.
Mukibitangira, ushobora no kumva umutwe w’igitsina cya mugenzi wawe ubwawo nawo ari munini ku buryo wumva utinjira neza mu gitsina, ariko igihe cyose umuhungu/umugabo atihutiye guhita ahata igitsina cye mu cyawe, uko hagenda hashira akanya bigera aho igitsina cye kikagenda cyinjira buhoro buhoro mu cyawe ari nako kirushaho kukujyamo mu burebure ndetse ntihagire icyo wumva kikubangamiye.
Ikindi ni uko kugira umutuzo no kudahubuka mu buzima busanzwe bishobora kugufasha kurenga inzitizi izo ari zo zose zirimo ndetse n’ibi twavuze byo gutinyatinya bishobora kuvamo ububare igihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Indi nama umuntu yatanga aha ni uko wagana abakora ‘Yoga’ kuko ari imwe mu byagufasha kugera kuri ibi.
Ubufasha bwa muganga
Ubu bufasha busanzwe twavuzeho haruguru, bufite byinshi bushobora kugufasha mu gihe ugira ikibazo cyo kubabara igihe cy’imibonano. Gusa na none biba byiza kwifashisha muganga(docteur) mu gihe wowe (mukobwa) n’umuhungu mugenzi wawe mutabasha kugera ku ngingo cyangwa se ukaba ugira kubabara mu gitsina igihe muri gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kandi izi nama twaguhaye haruguru zikaba ntacyo zagufashije.
Hari indwara zitandukanye zishobora gutera iki kibazo, zirimo nko kurwara utubyimba ku turerantanga (ovaries) ndetse hari n’abafuruta (irritation) mu gitsina mu gihe cy’imibonano. Niyo mpamvu rero ari byiza kujya kubonana na muganga kugira ngo mbere na mbere abanze arebe niba byaba bidaterwa na kimwe muri biriya bibazo tumaze kuvuga.
Aha ariko birumvikana ko bene iki kibazo gishobora gutuma ugifite atabigaragaza (ahanini bitewe n’umuco nyarwanda) gusa si byiza kugiceceka mu gihe ugifite, kubera ko bishobora kukugiraho ingaruka; waba warashatse cyangwa se uri kumwe n’umuhungu mukundana.
Ibi bishobora no gutuma wisenyera burundu mu gihe waba warashatse.
Ikindi, ubujyanama(counseling) butangwa n’inzobere zabyigiye (psychologues) nabwo bushobora kugira icyo bugufasha kubera ko hashobora kuba hari hari ikizabo kiri hagati yanyu ( yaba inshuti yawe cyangwa se uwo mwashakanye) ari nacyo giteza uku gutinya gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Izi nzobere rero zagira icyo zigufasha mu kuvanaho bene izo mbogamizi.
Bamwe mu ba-dogiteri ni inzobere mu kuvura ibibazo bigendanye n’ibitsina, gusa rero siko bose baba bafite ubumenyi bwo kumva no kuguha inama ku kibazo wifitemo ubwawe kidafite aho gihuriye n’imikorere y’umubiri (ikibazo umuntu yakwita psychologique).