Ibintu birindwi byagufasha kubaka urugo rubizihiye n’uwo mwashakanye

Kubaka biroroha cyakora gukomeza urugo bigakomera kurushaho. Muri iyi minsi, iyo uganiriye n’abamaze kubaka ingo bakubwira ibibazo bafite waba uri ingaragu ukumva gushaka umugore cyangwa umugabo biragenda bikuvamo.
Kuko kenshi usanga bakubwira ko abantu bashakana bishimanye, urukundo n’urugwiro ari byose ariko nyuma y’igihe runaka bya byishimo bikagenda biyoyoka. Nyamara ariko iyo ushishoje usanga hari amwe mu makosa akorwa, abantu bagakwiye kwirinda kugira ngo ingo zabo zibashe gukomera kandi zigere ku munezero urambye. Dore amwe muri ayo makosa yagarutsweho na benshi twaganiriye ugomba kwirinda kugira ngo wubake urugo n’uwo mwashakanye, ndetse mwese rubizihiye.

1. Kugira icyumba cyawe nk’ ikibuga abana bakiniramo

Mu ngo nyinshi usanga utatandukanya icyumba cy’ababyeyi n’icy’abana. Yego si bibi ko abana bisanzura ku babyeyi babo ariko na none si byiza ko bahora bikinagura mu cyumba cy’ababyeyi. Ibi bigira ingaruka kuri mwese iyo mudafashe icyemezo hakiri kare ngo icyumba cyanyu kibe ubwiru .Wakwibaza uti “Ese byatera ikihe kibazo?” Biratinda hakazagera igihe umwe muri mwe (cyangwa se mwembi) yumva nta bushake bwinshi akigira bwo kubaka urugo kuko aba azi ko igihe icyo ari cyo cyose abana babatungura ugasanga mugombye gutegereza ijoro abana baryamye kandi wenda ubushake bwanagabanutse cyane, dore ko urugo rutubakwa nijoro gusa. Uretse kuba ubushake bwo kubaka urugo bushobora kubangamirwa n’uko abana bakunda kujya mu cyumba cy’ababyeyi, si na byiza yuko icyumba cy’ababyeyi cyaba hafi y’ibindi byumba abana bararamo, kuko bishobora gutuma abana bumva uko urugo rwubakwa mu gihe bakangutse nijoro; ibi kandi bigendana n’igihe umwana muto yaba akirara mu cyumba  cy’ababyeyi kuko ashobora gukanguka  agakurikirana ibyo ababyeyi be bahugiyemo, bwacya akabaza umubyeyi ibyo ari byo. Sinzi ko hari umubyeyi wapfa kubihishura amuha ubusobanuro!

2. Kubona umufasha wawe nk’umugore cyangwa umugabo wawe (Kwikakaza)

Ibi bikunda kugaragara ku bagabo. Aho usanga niba umugabo  amaranye igihe kinini n’umufasha we, agera aho akumva nyine ko ari umugore yishakiye ko amufiteho uburenganzira bwose. Ibi rero si byiza, kuko nimugera mu gihe cyo gutera urubariro ku rugo ushobora gusanga umugore wawe atisanzuye mu mubonano wanyu bityo bikaba byamutera kutagera ku byishimo bye. Ibyakubera byiza wowe mugabo, iyibagize ko uri umugabo akaba umugore ahubwo mwifate nka kera mukirambagizanya bituma ubushake bwiyongera, bityo igikorwa kikaba injyanamuntu. Nawe se umugabo usanga nta kuguyaguya umugore, nta tugambo twiza cyangwa ibindi byatuma umugore na we agira ubushake! Umugabo iyo atanyuzwe ni bwo atangira ati “Nashatse nabi”,  nyamara ari we ubifitemo uruhare runini; maze ugasanga afashe  icyemezo kigayitse cyo kujya gushaka ibyishimo mu bandi bakobwa ( benshi bicuruza) nyamara ibyishimo n’urukundo abisize iwe.

Ku ruhande rw’abagore na ho si shyashya. Umugabo niba yaragushatse ntibivuze ko kumushimisha byarangiriye mu kwezi kwa buki/cyayi. Muryoshye, umuguyaguye kandi umukorere ibintu bishya kuko burya abagabo bakunda udushya nubwo batabigaragaza. Aha  ni ho rwose atazatekereza ibyo kuguca inyuma kuko aba yiteguye ko umuhishiye byinshi. Akazi kuri we, si we uzajya arota karangira, hehe no kongera guhitira mu kabari!


3.Kwikunda

Umwe mu bantu twaganiriye yagize  ati "Ari abagabo, ari n’abagore bose barabikora". Ni byo koko kwikunda ku mpande zombi ntibijya bibura ariko burya  ku bagabo bo bikaba agahebuzo. Niba muri mu buriri wishakira ibyishimo bya wenyine,ngo wumve ko byose bikorwa uko ubishaka, ntabwo ari byiza. Hari abagabo usanga rwose bategeka abagore babo uburyo bifuza, bitaba uko ubimusabye bikazamura ubwumvikane buke mu muryango, gucana inyuma bigahabwa umwanya mu buzima bwabo kandi bitari bikwiye. Ni ho usanga indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina zibanzemo SIDA zibinjiriye.

Uburyo bwo gukemura iki kibazo ni bumwe. Ni ikiganiro kirambuye hagati y’umugabo n’umugore we, ukumvisha mugenzi wawe uko ubibona nta guhangana ndetse nawe ukamuha umwanya akakubwira uko na we abibona, hanyuma mugahitamo uburyo bwiza bwo gufashanya kugira ngo buri wese agere ku byishimo mu gihe cyo gushyira akabariro ku rugo.

4. Kwirinda imyambaro itarabugenewe

Ntibikunze kubaho ariko hari abakora iri kosa batazi ko ari ikosa.Ugasanga umwe muri mwe araye yambaye imyenda isanzwe ijoro ryose. Nyamara birashoboka ko uwo muraranye yumva agize ubushake mu ijoro hagati ariko akagira ubute kuko wenda waraye wiyambariye imyenda iguhambiye cyangwa ikomeye. Hari imyambaro rero yagenewe kurarana, iba ifite uruhu rworoshye kandi iba idafashe ku mubiri cyane,uretse ko unabishoboye warara wiyambariye umwambaro wa Adamu, ibi bifasha cyane mugenzi wawe ndetse nawe ubwawe kugira ubushake bwo kumworohereza mu mwiteguro ubanziriza igikorwa nyirizina cyo kubaka urugo.

5. Wirinda amagambo akomeretsa mugenzi wawe

Mu buriri si mu rukiko, si na ho kandi hatangirwa penetensiya. Amakosa yose ndetse n’ibitagenda neza mu rugo si ho bivugirwa, ahubwo ni cyo gihe cyiza cyo kuganira koko nk’abashakanye. Iyo muhise rero mwibanziriza ibibazo byo mu rugo, haziramo uburakari, ntumenya n’igihe wakomerekereje uwo mwashakanye bityo igikorwa nyamukuru kikaba kitari bugende neza byanze bikunze kuko nyine umwe aba agitekereza ku magambo wamubwiye atamushimishije. Ni byiza yuko ibibazo byo mu rugo cyangwa se izindi mbogamizi umwe muri mwe yaba yahuye na zo mwaziganiraho mbere y’uko mujya mu buriri, kuko bivuzwe mwabugezemo byabangamira imyubakire y’urugo rwanyu.

6. Guhunga imyitozo ngororamubiri

Ibigo byinshi byashyiriyeho abakozi babo igihe runaka cyo gukora siporo. Burya si uko arya masaha abakozi bakomeje akazi umusaruro utakwiyongera, ahubwo ni uko bazi akamaro ko gukora imyitozo ngororamubiri. Niba rero utajyaga uyikora, tangira uyimenyereze, uretse no kuba ituma umuntu aruhuka mu mutwe, inatuma wirinda umubyibuho utifuza.Tutirengagije ko umubyibuho na wo uri mu bituma urugo rutubakwa uko mubyifuza.

7. Kwita ku isuku

Wakwibaza uti «Mbese ibi ni ngombwa kubivugaho?» Yego, ni ngombwa cyane ndetse. Kuko burya abantu iyo bakirambagizanya isuku iba ari yose ku mpande zombi. Ariko mwagera mu rugo bigatangira kugabanuka. Aha, reka tuvuge ku bagore kuko ni bo bagira umubiri uba ukeneye isuku ihagije, ndetse bigatuma n’abagabo barushaho kubifuza. Mugore,ubishoboye wajya ukaraba nibura gatatu ku munsi, kandi ukabikorana ubwitonzi n’ubushishozi. Ibi mbivugiye ko umugabo wawe nashaka kugira icyo akubaza agasanga nta suku ufite mu gihe ashakiye kukubazamo, bimuca intege rwose kandi akenshi hari n’igihe atabikubwira ahubwo akagucikaho buhoro buhoro wowe ukibaza icyamuhinduye kandi nyamara ari udukosa umuntu aba atahaye agaciro. Amakosa akorwa mu ngo ni menshi kandi ni na yo avaho intandaro yo gucana inyuma bikaziramo no gusenyuka kw’ingo. Aya rero yari amwe mu makosa wakwirinda gukora kugira ngo wiyubakire urugo neza.