URWENYA

MUZE TWESE TWISEKERE TURUHURA UBWONKO  1. BYENDAGUSETSA  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Umukecuru wigiraga batisimu yagiye ku bazwa ngo padiri arebe ko yumvise ibyo ivanjili na Kiliziya bamubwira. Padiri ati ese Nyina wa Yezu yitwa nde? Ati ariko se mwana wa, ndaba ntazi nyoko uri umunyarwanda mwene wacu nkamenya nyina wa yezu w’umuzungu?  Padiri ntiyacika intege ati”ese Yezu azagaruka?” Umukecuru ati ”padi, niba ibyo watubwiye bamukoreye aribyo, agarutse yaba ashaka kwiyahura”. Barakomeza, akomeza gusubiza neza rwose, padir ati ariko nku’ubu ahantu heza wumva wagera ukanezerwa nihehe? Undi ati padi, ”uwanshyira mu kabindi kuzuye ubuki, nareba hasi ngasoma, nareba hejuru ngasoma, nahindukira ngasoma, rwose nanezerwa”. Padiri wari witeze yuko avuga yuko yajya mu ijuru, aba arumiwe, ati genda uzaze ubatizwe.

 

 

2. ZIRAZA KUBICA NIGARAMIYE

 

Umugabo yasomye akagwa ka bitoki ashira inyota. Agerageje guhaguruka biranga aba yituye mu ngarani agaramye. Abo bari kumwe bose ngo 'kweeeee!' Nawe ati "yeee, ngaho nimukomeze munywe munseka, ziraza kubica nigaramiye. 

 

3. NISHIZE MUMABOKO YAWE WANTAREWE

Naho umusore Rudatinya w'i Karama yagiye kuvumba i Bweramvura kwa Mushotsi wa Kavuna, yijuse afata agakoni ke ashogoshera yerekeza iwe. Ageze mu kigunda, abona ibihuru byo mu kigarama yagendagamo biraza bimusanga, kandi akabona bifite isura y'intare. Abona byamusatiriye ku buryo ntaho yabihungira nta n'uburyo yabisiga. Ni ko gukubita ikivugirizo, yongeraho akaririmbo ati "nishyize mu  maboko yawe wa ntare we! Nkuragije na roho yanjye n'umubiri wanjye!" 
  
   4. UMUPASITORI

Umupasitoro Nzamuvumba wabaga ahantu hitwa i Gitwe, yigeze kwiherera mu nzu asangira n'abandi ka "coca cola" (kavangiye), asohotse ageze hanze abona imisozi irimo irazenguruka. Araterura ati "bene data bakundwa, nimwegere mbigishe dore ibyahanuwe birasohoye.  Abo basangiye bazi yuko atamenyereye ako gasoda, bati "pastoro ba ugarutse mu nzu"! Ati " mwimbuza guhanura kandi ibyanditswe byasohoye. Byaravuzwe yuko ku munsi wa nyuma imisozi izimukira indi, none dore Rwabicuma yimukiye Mpanga, mu kanya murabona za Gacu zibahise imbere!" Ni uko barakurura bahirikira mu nzu.

 

5. INZU YANJYE IRANSANGA HANO

 

Umugabo Bagira yigeze gutaha ubukwe iyo mu bakungu, abutaha afite icyaka cyamuteye umwuma, maze si ugukurura ubupfura arabupfurika. Kera kabaye rero igihe cyo gutaha kiragera. Ageze hanze abona ibiti biramuhita iruhande byiruka, abona amazu amunyuze imbere yihuta; akubitiye ku munaniro yifitiye, yiyicarira hasi, ati ndategerereza hano inzu yanjye nayo buriya iri mu nzira iransanga hano.

6. UMUHUNGU MWAMUGURANYE

 

Umugore wagiraga inyota akirinda kunywa amazi ngo umuhogo we utavaho umeramo urubobi, yigeze kugasoma, agashira inyota. Yibutse ibyo gutaha abatura umwana amukubita umugongo amucuritse. Agiye kumusimbiza aba amukoze mu kanwa, maze induru ayiha amunwa, ati 'naje mfite umwana w'umuhungu none mwanguraniye?!

7. UMUVUMBYI KARUNDURA

 

Umugabo NKUNZABAGABO yanyuze haruguru yo kwa MAYUYA yunva abantu baraganira munzu baseka cyane . Yali avuye ku rugendo inyota imumereye nabi. Nubwo atari umumwanyi wa Mayuya aribwira ati reka mpanyure mbavumbe!!!Nuko Nkunzabagabo yinjira murugo buhoro ageze mu muryango winzu ariyasira ati mwiriwe yemwe kwa Mayuya? 

Mayuya amwunvise ashikuza igicuma umugabo wari ugifite agishyira mu kwaha mugikoti kirekire yari yambaye nuko arahaguruka ati ntakwirirwa  ntakwirirwa ntacyo turya!!!  Inyota yatumaze none turiganirira gusa!! Ubwo Nkunzabagabo abayabagezemo areba iminwa yabo ibobereye ntiyabashira amakenga ati nubundi nuko tutari duherukanye nari ngukumbuye  cyaneee reka naguhobere dushirane urukumbuzi.

Abivuga asingira MAYUYA ngo amuhobere (Kuko yari yabonye ko aliwe ufite igicuma mwikoti) Mayuya yitaza  yiyamira ati Sigaho!!! Sigaho !!! Rekareka!!!UTAMEMERA IKOTI WA MUGABOWE!!!!!

Sinjye wahera!!!

 

8. KAGACUMA N'IJEREKANI NI MAHWI

 

Umugore Mukamuganga yakundaga urwa bitoke. Bukeye baza kumusaba umugeni maze yenga urwagwa ruryoshye cyane arushyira munsi y'urutara mu kijerekani(jerrican) kugirango ruhore abashyitsi bazarunywe rumeze neza dore ko rwari rwahiye ubukwe bushigaje icyumweru ngo bube. Noneho uko amaze kurya ibishyimbo n'ibijumba ati:"Ese none urwagwa rwazabiha umugabo nazamukira?" Akagenda agashora umuheha mu kijerekani akumviriza ati ruzaryoha ye! Buri munsi akumva uko rumeze. Bukeye abakwe baraza baricara maze Mukamuganga anyarukira munsi y'urutara aricara ibicuma akaba yabyogeje mu nkoko bitukura. Afata igicuma cya mbere cyitwaga Gahogo bari baritiriye umuturanyi wavumbaga cyane. Afata ikijerikani umunwa awuhamya uw'igicuma asukamo yitonze ariko habura ikiza arambiwe n'abakwe barambiwe arahaguruka aragenda yegera umugabo we ati"Mbese urabizi Simo, cya gicuma na cya kijerekani ni mahwi". Simoni ati "agacuma k'amacupa abiri   kanganye gate n'ijerekani ifite amacupa mirongo itatu?". Umugore bimuyobeye kubisobanura areba hirya areba hino yirasa mu myugariro dore ko basabaga mu gicuku ngo Padiri atamenya ko bagiye gushyingiza akabaca amaturo maze ajya iwabo. Habura usabwa hagati y'umwana na nyina.

9. NI MUTABARE ABAPFU BARARWANYE

Umuganga wakunda kugasoma yigeze kugakura mu icupa kamukuramo itaburiya. 

Uti kagire inkuru re! 

Uko byagenze burya ibara umupfu, ariko umugabo yagize atya yinywera  agatama, aragasoma arasusuruka, ariko akomeje karamugarika, icyuya kiramurenga, ururimi rurasohoka, abandi basangiraga baraterura barahutera no kwa muganga bati ba! Umuganga wari ku izamu basanga rero nawe yashize inyota, amukubise igipimo, ati "umuntu yahwereye kare ni mujyane mu nzu y'abitabye Imana (morgue). Baraterura baragenda bashyira iyo, bategerejeko bazagaruka gutwara umurambo bukeye.
Nyamugabo wawe rero uko yakaryamye aho muri icyo kizu gikonje kubi, inzoga ziratangira zimushimuramo, ati "wa mugore we ko imbeho inyishe wanyoroshe!" Akabakabye yumva ari wenyine, akoze ku ruhande abura icyo afata, yumva ayobewe aho ari. Aba akoze mu mufuka akuramo ikibiriti, dore ko yatumuraga n'agatabi, agize ngo aracana abona ari hagati y'abapfu. Induru ayiha umunwa, yirukira ku rugi aratangira arahondagura.  Maramuko wari uraye izamu aba avugije induru ati ni mutabare abapfu barwanye, ni mutabare, ni mutabare, yeee! Abarwayi iyo ku bitanda bahubuka biruka bahunga abo bazimu barwanira mu nzu y'abapfu.  N'ubu hari abakiruka.

10. GITARIRO

Umugabo Gitariro wo mu Bugarama yaguhubukiye iyo ngiyo ajya gusura umukobwa warongowe iyo bita i Burayi. Agezeyo mwa bagabo mwe, mbega! Nta gatsina kahaba, nta dusaka ngo yenge akagage maze inyota iramujujubya. Cyakora umukobwa we akamugurira urwagwa rwaho rwasaga n'umutuku. Gitariro akarwanga kubi ngo nta muneke rwose ni barukatamo. Ni uko kera kabaye imbeho iraza dore ko itajya ihabura. Gitariro ahera mu nzu. Bukeye akazuba karava umukobwa we ati tujye guhaha nkwereke n'isoko ry'ino ryitwa karefuru uzabwire n'abaturanyi ko watembereye. Baragenda binjira muri iryo soko riruta ayandi mu Bufaransa. Barahaha maze Gitariro ngo yakarabukwa aho za byeri ziterekanze amera nk'ukubiswe n'inkuba yanga kongera gutera ikirenge yumira aho ari. Umukobwa we ati tugende dore umugabo wanjye agiye kuva ku kazi; abuzukuru bati tugende sogokuru dore  mu kanya hari amashusho avuga (dessin animé). Gitariro akica amatwi. Aza gucunga umukobwa ahugiye mu mapantaro dore ko ibiciro byari byagabanyijwe(solde) maze yirasa muri byeri ashikuzamo agakarito ka henikeni(heinekein) 24. Arakanaguzwa abona hirya ye akazu gafunguye yirasa nk'urukwavu rwambuka umuhanda. Aho hakaba hari mu kazu bigeragamo imyenda kari kuzuye abari n'abategarugori bigeraga imyenda y'imbere ihendutse mu igabanya ry'ibiciro. Barabutswe Gitariro winjiye avuga Mpa,mpa ni angahe (donnes donnes c'est combien?) birukira rimwe imyambaro bayikinga hasi no hejuru amatako bayabangira ingata ariko Abimukira bashishoza niba hari itandukanyirizo ry'Abablondes n'Ababrunes cyakora basanga bose barazimyoye bati"yaaa"! Amasoko arahurura Gitariro yibereye mu kazu kuri manyinya. Aho Polisi iziye anketi zirakorwa habura ufatwa cyakora Gitariro basanga yari yarishwe n'inyota. Nyiri isoko ati Gitariro rero reka nguhe akazi dore amasoko yose yahuruye none abaguzi babaye benshi ejo uzaze utangire ukore ujye ushyira ziriya byeri aho abaguzi bazitagaguza bahitamo. Gitariro aratangira arakora ariko ku munsi wa kabiri atangira kuririmba ati"Karefuru tuzagutora.............kugeza ubwo Abazimyamuriro bahageze basanga yumye kera bamujyana amaguru adakora hasi tuyoberwa irengero rye.

11.GATATU KU MUNSI

Umugabo Bazumvampehe yagiye ku kazi yasinze, noneho umukoresha we Gasyampeke ararakara cyane, ati koko nta soni ufite zo kuza ku kazi wasinze? Undi ati: “rwose urandenganya ibi byose ni muganga wabiteye!” Umukoresha we ati : “nonese muganga ni we wakwinitse mu nzoga?”. Undi ati: “rwose ejo nagiye kwa muganga mbabara mu nda, noneho anyandikira umuti ngomba kugura; ariko uzi ukuntu nawe bandika. Icyo nabashije gusoma ku rupapuro rero ni ahanditse amacupa abiri, n'ahandi handitse gatatu ku munsi.  Urumva nawe ibyakurikiyeho”.

 

12.ABASHYITSI

Rwiyamirira, Kagozi na Bwenge bahagurutse Cyarubare  bajyana gusura munywanyi wabo Sezikeye wari utuye Sovu na Sibagire. Barenga imisozi baterera iyindi, bamaze guhinguka Shyogo na Shyanda ijoro riba riraguye. Ni bwo bigiriye inama yo kujya gucumbika ku rugo bari babonye hafi yabo. Wagira ngo Bwenge yahise amenya ko ba nyir'ururugo barangije gufungura, cyakora hasigaye utwo bararije abana. Bene urugo babaza abo bagenzi uko bitwa, abandi bavuga amazina yabo bageze kuri  Bwenge ati "nitwa Abashyitsi." Nyir'urugo abanza kwicara arabaganiriza, hashize akanya abwira ab'iwe ati "ngiye kuruhuka, none zana twa turyo twari twararije abana uhe abashyitsi." Ibiryo bimaze kuza Bwenge abwira bagenzi be ati "bavuze ko bagaburira abashyitsi kandi ni jyewe witwa gutyo, ubwo mwebwe muraba mutegereje, buriya  barabatekera ibyanyu. Si bwo Bwenge abiriye wenyine! Hashize akanya nyir'urugo arongera ahamagara umugore ati "ndakeka twa turyo twabaye iyanga, reba na ya mineke iri ku rusenge na yo uyihe abashyitsi."  Imineke barayizana, Bwenge ati "mwumvise ko iyi na yo ari iy'abashyitsi, ubwo mwe murakomeza kuba mutegereje." Erega imineke na yo Bwenge ayihinaho wenyine.

 

13.YABIGENJE NKA GUTSYA

Kera amajyambere ya kizungu ataratwinjiramo muzi ko abantu basangiriraga ku nkoko akenshi babaga bashasheho agakoma. Muri icyo gihe rero umugabo Rwitsibagura yasangiraga n'abandi, aza kubona intongo z'inyama yifuzaga batazishyize imbere ye. Ni bwo ateruye agira ati "burya ibyaduka ni ibyaduka koko, ndetse biragatsindwa. Yewe, dushatse twajya twigendeshereza amaguru!"  Abandi baba barekeye aho kurya kugira ngo bamutege amatwi. Ni bwo akomeje ati "murabona ya modoka Rupangu aherutse kugura: yari ituroshye pe! Ubwo twagiye tugeze ahantu mu ikoni imodoka sinakubwira ijya iyi ijya iriya, umutima udushigukamo." Abandi bati "ayi we ! Ubwo se disi mwaje gukizwa n'iki?" Rwitsibagura ati "mwareka nkababarira ye ! Umudereva yerekanye ko azi umwuga we. Yafashe diregisiyo y'imodoka maze arayikubanura, arayikubanura, arayikubanura kugeza ubwo imodoka yongeye kugenda neza. Mbese yabigenje nka  gutya." Ibyo erega ubwo yabivugaga ari na ko  akubanura inkoko kugeza ubwo za ntongo yifuzaga zimugeze imbere!

14. UMPE IBYANJYE MFUNGURE NGENDE

Igihe kimwe urugo rwa Serupfipfinyurimpyisi rwari rwatetse ibiryo biryoshye cyane. Noneho bukeye mu ighe umugore atari mu rugo,  umugabo aza kwegera agakono kari karimo ibyo baraje. Ni bwo ashatse kukihindaho mu gihe abandi badahari.   Ariko aza kubona biza kuba igisebo  umugore cyangwa abana baje bagasanga ari kuri uwo murimo. Ni bwo abebetanye agakono  no mu mu mubyuko w'amasaka kugira ngo abe ari ho arira yihishe. Akihagera asanga ni  ho umugore ari, arimo gusoroma igisusa n'umushogoro. Umugore arumirwa, umugabo akorwa n'ikimwaro ariko agerageza kuhikura ati "kubera nshaka kwihuta nasanze nintegereza ko urangiza ngo uze mu rugo ungaburire ndi bwice gahunda mfitanye na ba Binama. Nanze rero kukurindira, ni yo mpamvu nari nzanye inkono ngo umpeho ibyanjye mfungure vuba ngende."

 

15. UBUGARI

Umugabo RUKUBAYIHUNGA wabaga i Bujumbura mu Ngagara, yakundaga ubugari cyane ku buryo yajyaga yitegereza ikiyaga cya Tanganyika, akareba n'igisozi cyegamiye Bujumbura, ati " maze umunsi umwe ngakanguka ngasanga uriya musozi wabaye ubugari n'aho Tanganyika yabaye isosi! 

Rwakwambikana ndakubwiye!" Kuvuga burya ni ugutaruka reka dukomeze. Uwo mugabo rero Rukubayihunga yari afite ingeso yuko yabanzaga kurya, yarangiza abana bakabona kugaburirwa. Reka rero umunsi umwe umugore we Madalena abe amaze kuvuga ubugari, igihe amaze gukaraba yitegura kwihereza haze umuntu wamushakaga. Atinya kumwinjiza mu nzu ngo batavaho basangira ubwo bugari, amusanga hanze. Ariko mbere yo gusohoka asiga yanditse izina rye ku bugari, maze rirakunda rirabuzenguruka dore ko atari rigufi.
Umugore we abonye atinze hanze, akata kuri bwa bugari agaburira abana ngo badasinzira batariye. Mu gukata umugore akuraho Yihunga. Kera kabaye Rukubayihunga asezera ku mushyitsi we yinjira mu nzu. Agize ngo arareba ku bugari asanga babukaseho maze induru ayiha umunwa. Agataka ahamagara umugore, ati "yewe Madalena we, ko ndeba Rukuba, Yihunga yagiye hehe?!" Abaturanyi bamwumvise bati "uriya mugabo ashobora kuba yasaze. None se Rukubayihunga arabaza aho Rukubayihunga yagiye?"

16. WANKOKOWE UHINDUTSE IFI

Ku wa gatanu mtatagatifu, umukristu yagiye gusura abapadiri kuri paruwasi maze abashyira inkoko y'isake iteye amabengeza. Kubera ko paruwasi yari nini, abapadiri bari bagabanye za santrali, kuri paruwasi hasigaye umwe wakundaga akaboga kurusha sakabaka. Akimara gusezera kuri uwo mukristu, abwira umukozi ko agomba guhita abaga iyo sake. Ariko igihe padiri yari mu sakrisitiya arimo yitegura kujya gusoma misa, umukozi aba araje, ati "ya nkoko nayibuze"! Padiri bimutera agahinda n'umujinya, ahita amubwira ngo nawe naze mu misa dore ntacyo afite cyo gukora.
Ubwo misa iratangira, bararirimba karahava, igihe cyo gusoma ivanjiri kiba kirageze. Padiri, ati "numuhorane Imana!", abandi barasubiza. Arakomeza, ati "amagambo yo mu ivanjiri ntagatifu, uko yanditswe na (aba abonye ya nkoko itambagira hanze) dore ya nkoko"! Umukozi aba arahindukiye koko arayibona, asohoka mu misa itarangiye ajya kuyitunganya. Kera kabaye rero misa irahumuza, padiri asuhuza abakristu ariko umutima uri ahandi, kuko yatekerezaga ya nkoko. Reka rero agere ku meza, umukozi azanye inkoko, padiri ayikubise amazi amaso yuzura akanwa, nari mvugishijwe, yayikubise amaso amazi yuzura akanwa. Amaze gushimira iryo funguro ryazanywe n'umukristu, agiye gukoramo, umukozi, ati "nyamara uyu munsi nta muntu wari kurya inyama kuko ari ku wa gatanu mutagatifu!" Padiri, ati " irukira mu kiliziya unzanire amazi y'umugisha nkwereke". Umukozi aba amuzaniye amazi, padiri wawe asuka duke kuri ya nkoko, ati " wa nkoko we, ubu ndakubatije uhindutse ifi". Ni uko padiri aryoherwa n'inkoko yahindutse ifi.

 

17. KANDI NDABASOHORA

 

Umugabo Ngunda yagize atya akurira imineke arangije arenzaho salade. Ntihashize isaha imwe gusa aba arengejeho ibijumba byokeje. Hatari hashira iminota 30 aba aroshyeho ibigori bitetse. Mu nda sinakubwira ibiyoka bitangira gutongana. Ngunda ati "ngo ubwo rero izi nzoka rirampima. Ntibimbuza gukomeza kwihera inda." Akomeza kuryagagura buri kanya. Uko aryagagura inzoka zikarushaho kwitotomba, arambiwe akora ku nda abwira ibivugiramo ati "mbahaye igice cy'isaha mukaba mwumvikanye, mwakwanga nkabasohora." Umugabo yikomereza umurimo we wo gutera imere. Mu nda na byo biranga , ni bwo umugabo atangiye kumisha indabo hirya no hino, ari byo bamwe bita gutera ibiro. Maze areba ibyo amaze kuruka ati "sinari nababwiye ko nimutumvikana mbasohora? Mwagira ngo sinabivugaga nkomeje?"

 

18. INYAMA

Umugabo wagiraga amerwe yageze ahantu babaze inka, akubise amaso inyama , ati" ese uriya munzani n'inyama?" Abandi, bati "kweee!!!!!!!!" Aba ararakaye, ati "nonese ko mutansubiza kiriya kilo ni inyama?" Noneho si uguseka bavayo. Umugabo, ati "ahaaa, ndabona abatize inyama murushya!"

 

19. INJANGWE N'IMBWA

Umuminisitiri wo mu rwa Gasabo yaragiye yegera umukuru w'igihugu mu rwego rwo kwihakirwa, ati "ibigambo biri hanze aha birandambiye. Uzi ukuntu twumvikana ariko icyakubwira ibyo rubanda barocangwamo. Uzi ko bavuga ngo jye namwe ntitwumvikana, ngo mbese tumeze nk'injangwe n'imbwa?" Nuko umukuru w'igihugu ati "mbese ni uko bavuga? Ubwo se bashaka kuvuga ko ari jye ari nawe injangwe ari nde?" Wa muminisitiri biramushobera ariko aza kuhikura, ati "ubwo injangwe baba bavuga  ni jyewe nyakubahwa perezida wa repubulika." Perezida ati "ibyo ndabyumva neza, ariko se dukomeje gato, noneho ubwo ni ukuvuga ko imbwa baba bavuga ari nde?" Minisitiri noneho biramushobera. Cyakora arikokora ati "ubwo imbwa na yo ni jyewe nyakubahwa perezida wa repubulika."

 

 

20. ISOSI

Umugabo yari afite resitora maze bikaba ngombwa ko yumva niba abatetsi batetse neza. Batangira kugabura bose bakanyuza ibyo bagabuye kuri kontwari ajombamo ikanya yumva maze yabona isahani igabuye neza ati"ca hano sha, shyira ibyo biryo hariya umuguzi umugaburire ibindi". Abakozi bakahagorerwa kuko iyo resitora abategetsi benshi bayiriragamo uko ibiryo bitinze kugera ku mutegetsi ugasanga abakozi benshi bagiye mu munyururu. Bigatera ikibazo kuko abakozi ntibashoboraga kubwira abo bategetsi ko ibiryo byabo(babagaburira ) birya shebuja kandi ntibashoboraga no kubuza shebuja guhitamo mu bye. Bukeye biga ubwenge bwo guteka indyo yitwaga "Bizikora". Basekura urusenda shebuja yagiye kurangura ibitoki n'amakamyo i Kibungo. Aho agarukiye bukeye bararuteka, isosi yarwo itukura rwose isa na bike uyibonye wese amazi akuzura akanwa ariko nyine ntawari ufite uburenganzira bwo kumva ko biryoshye uretse nyiri resitora. Ibitoki bivuye ku Rusumo, birotswa amafiriti arashya maze baragabura. Ibiryo bitangira kumvwa. Ya sosi"Bizikora" iza ishashagirana nyiri resitora ayirabutswe abwira umukozi ati"dore uko gisa!Ni nde ugiye kugaburira usa utyo? Cyo jya koga". Umukozi ajya koga bwa kabiri dore ko yagiraga isuku ariko amerwe ya shebuja washakaga kurigisa igisorori cy'isosi akamutuka umwanda. Aho umukozi agendeye shebuja yinaga inyuma ya kontwari igisorori agihamya umunwa. Ntihashize isegonda hirya mu cyumba bariramo bumva ngo" Reeeeeeeeeee". Bahuruye basanga umugabo wapimaga hafi ibiro maganabiri yabize icyuya cyamurenze, ijosi ritava aho rireba nk'urwaye mugiga! Ubwo burugumesitiri yari yaje mu ba mbere kurya ku gitoki kivuye i Kibungo dore ko i Tumba cyahageraga rimwe mu cyumweru. Ati"yewe reka abacuruzi babyibuhe bazira byinshi! Muzi iminsi nabwiriwe kubera uyu mugabo, naze abe aruhukira mu kasho dore yicishije akarere inzara".

21. KURUHANYA

- Kera Impyisi yigeze kugendana n'umugabo Bagira bagiye gufata igihe ibwami, bageze mu nzira imvura irabanyagira irababoza. Kubw'amahirwe babona aho bikinga, noneho wa mugabo (dore ko nta mugore wafataga igihe) atangira guhuha ku ntoki, ariko azikaraga. Impyisi, iti " ese uri mu biki?" Umugabo, ati "ndi guhuha intoki ngo ndebe ko zashyuha". Aho imvura igenjereje make bakomeza urugendo, bumaze kwira bajya gushaka icumbi. Bacumbika ku mugabo Bucyanayandi, basanga batetse inyama babaha umufa ushyushye cyane ngo ubamaremo imbeho. Bagira aba afashe imbehe atangira guhuha. Impyisi, iti " noneho se kandi urahuha iki?" Bagira, ati "ndagira ngo uyu mufa uhore mbone uko nywunywa".  Imbyisi iramwitegereza, iti "ndumiwe burya abantu muraruhije. Nonese koko guhuha ibishyushye n'ibikonje! Ahaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!"

22. JYA MUBINDI

 

Kera amapfa yarateye imyaka iruma mu mirima n'amariba menshi arakama. Umugabo Jyamubandi , umugore we n'abana bagatungwa no kurya ubusabusa ku buryo abana baryaga ibijumba gusa imboga zarabaye imboneka rimwe. Kera kabaye haza imiryango myishi gutabara akarere bari batuyemo maze babaha ibishyimbo. Bose bari bararambiwe kurya ibijumba dore ko n'amazi nyine yari imboneka rimwe bitavaga mu muhogo. Aho ibishyimbo bibonekeye Jyamubandi asanga ari bike maze abwira umugore we ati" Bariya bana baracyari bato bashoboye kurya ibijumba ntuzabampere udushyimbo ntituzi igihe imvura izagwira ntazabura imbuto baturiye tugashira. Umugore abika udushyimbo ariko akajya akoraho duke akadutekera Jyamubandi. Kugira ngo abana batazibagirwa uko ibishyimbo bimera akabatekera ibijumba abigeretse ku bishyimbo. Ni uko umunsi umwe bajya kurya uko bisanzwe, se w'abana yicara hariya n'udushyimbo ku gasahani, abana na nyina bajya hariya n'ibijumba byabiriwe. Umwana muto muri bo aza kurabukwa igishyimbo kiza cyari cyafashe ku kijumba arakitegereza ariko ntiyakirya. Ni uko aragifata akinaga n'ingufu nyishi ku isahani ya se ati"jya mu bindi nawe, waje ute aha?" Se w'umwana ashigukira hejuru yumvise igishyimbo kibaraje ku isahani dore ko yari ayigerereye! Induru ayiha umunwa ati “noneho amarozi yatumye imvura itagwa bayataye mu isahani yanjye.”  Ariruka ngo agiye kuraguza maze wa mwana ati “ndabirya dore igihe nabirebeshereje amaso gusa.” Udushyimbo umwana araturya maze se aho agarukiye aza avuga ati “namenye ko Rubwa utuye munsi y'urugo rwanjye ariwe wari ugiye kundoga.” Umwana ati “Rubwa yagorwa yagorwa! Nashatse gushyira igishyimbo mu bindi maze kuko wari uhuze ugira ngo kivuye hejuru none ngo Rubwa!” Kuva ubwo Jyamubandi abwira umugore ati “teka ibishyimbo byose bisigaye abana barye bahage ejo batazanterurana n'isahani.”

 

23. IKAWA IKAZE

 

Abagabo babiri bagiye kunywa ikawa maze bageze muri kafe(café) , bamaze kubaha ikawa umwe muri bo asomyeho abwira ushinzwe kuyitanga(le serveur) ati" Musore(garçon,) iyi ni yo mwita ikawa ikaze(café fort)?” Umusore utanga ikawa ati" Yego nyakubahwa kandi ikimenyetso simusiga cyarekana ko ari kawa ikaze ni uko usomyeho rimwe ugata umutwe(une seule gorgée a suffi pour vous énerver)!

 

 

 23. ARTICHAUT

 

Abategetsi babiri bavuye mu gihugu cy'ibiyaga bigari baje mu mishyikirano(ubutumwa bwa leta yabo) yo kwaka imfashanyo i Burayi. Hari mu itumba rikaze(hiver) abantu bose batitira. Ni uko umwe muri za ntumwa abwira mugenzi we ati"Urabizi , ntangiye kubura ijwi kubera imbeho". Mugenzi we wari umukuru w'intumwa(chef de délégation) ati" ibyo nabyo, ngwino turebe aho turya ikintu gishyushye noneho mu kanya uze kubasha gusobanura ubukene bwugarije igihugu cyacu". Binjira muri resitora nziza ihenze cyane baricara maze babazanira igipapuro cy'ibiribwa biboneka muri iyo resitora(menu). Barazenguruka: a)Umuceri , oya iwacu urahaba kandi ntuba ushyushye cyane, b)isupu y'inyama, oya ino haba indwara y'inka zisara(vache folle). Kera kabaye barabukwa ahanditse z) Artichaut bati yaaaaaaaa, urabona ngo ibi babishyire kure kandi aribyo bishyushye! Ni uko bahamagara serviri bati “nyarutsa tudakererwa inama zana artichaut.” Arabazanira bwangu. Ngo bagakubita amaso artichaut basimbukira rimwe bati'Urabona ngo badusuzugure bashake kutugaburira imigwegwe kandi iwacu n'inka zitayona". Sibwo babakaciye bitabye burigadi gusobanura ko bakomanze bagacika batishyuye. Cyakora basobanurira burugadiye w'i Burayi ko bashakaga ikintu gishyushye babona artichaut bagakeka ko ari ubwoko bw'indyo ishyushye cyane. Barabarekura ariko inama bajemo ntibayijyamo kuko Minsitiri w'imali wagombaga kubakira yabonye hashize amasaha ane bataje nawe yigira mu nama muri Loni.

 Icyitonderwa: Artichaut ni igihingwa cy'i Burayi kiribwa ariko kitaba muri Afrika, cyenda kumera nk'umugwegwe wanze gukura.Igice cya artichaut kiribwa(comestible) kikitwa "capitule", ibindi bice byayo ntibiribwe. Bagabo barabona rwose babonye artichaut bashaka plat chaud.

 

24. IBINTU BYIKOZE

 

Umugore yagiye kuzirika isekurume mu gasozi, agarutse mu rugo ashyira ibishyimbo ku ziko. Hashize akanya yumva aranyotewe, ni bwo agiye kwivumbira yibwira ko ari bugaruke vuba. Ageze iyo avumba ibiganiro biraryoha, urwagwa ruratubuka. Si bwo ijoro ririnze kugwa atari yataha ngo ahishe ibishyimbo acyure n'isekurume. Hagati aho umugabo yaje kuza yongera amazi mu nkono ateka ibishyimbo birashya yandurura n'ibintu byose. Nyamugore atahutse, akora ku nkono y'ibishyimbo asanga byahiye. Ati "yooo, ibintu byikoze, dore bya bishyimbo byitetse."  Agiye gukinga amadirishya yasize afunguye asanga arafunze. Ati "reba rwose n'amadirishya yifunze!" Ajya hanze kureba amamera yari yasize yanitse arayabura, agenzuye neza asanga ari mu ntebo mu mfuruka. Ati" reba rwose na ya mamera yiyanuye!" Ubwo agenda agana ahari uburiri ariko mu nzu ntihabonaga neza. Agenda akorakora aba akoze mu bwanwa bw'umugabo we wari aryamye, ariyamirira ati "yewe, koko ibintu bya hano byose byiikoze, dore na cya Ruhaya nasize nziritse mu gasozi cyicyuye !! Mbega ibintu byiza!!" 

 

 

 

25. UTAZI IVUBURA RY'IMVUBU AJYE AYIGANIRA!!”

Umugabo Mvuyekure yakuviriye ku Gikongoro n'umugore n'urubyaro ati"ngiye gutura ku Rusumo niho hera imyaka hakiboneka n'amasambu meza yo guhinga". Arakugendera agerayo aca indaro aratura. Abaturanyi baramusura baramuzimanira bati kaze neza ndetse bamutiza n'ibikoresho byo gutema ishyamba ngo ahinge dore ko ku Gikongoro yari yaravuye yahingaga agataka kangana urwara atazi uko batema ishyamba. Kera kabaye atema umukenke ku nkombe aza gukubitana n'imvubu ikutse uruzi iti"wa mugabo we uva he ukajya he?" Wa mugabo wawe utari yarigeze arabukwa inyamaswa y'agasozi ati "iyi ngurube ishobore kuba icitse wa muturanyi wanjye ejo wanshomeje ku rwagwa". Aragenda gahoro gahoro ngo agufatire ya mvubu ayicyamure ayerekeza kwa munywanyi we! Imvubu yakumenyereye ko isanganizwa amacumu n'ibitosho iti"kaze neza". Iritunatuna yikora mu matako irekura igice cya toni maze umugabo ayo mazirantoki amugezeho amera nk’utwitswe n'amazi abira benda gusongesha umutsima. Arebye hejuru asanga yapfukiriwe abura uko atabaza. Agerageza guhamagara ab’iwe ati" Yemwe yemwe kwa Mvuyekure, yaba Mukamvuyekure yaba umwana unyumva nimuntabare mfashwe n'imvubu!!”! Ubwo abaturanyi bari bumvise impumeko y'imvubu irekurira amazirantoki kuri Mvuyekure bose barahurura bakwira inkombe z'uruzi ngo itabacika dore ko bakundaga umufa wayo. Bamwumvise basekera rimwe bati"akabi ni ukuza guhaha ukazira kariya kageni. Ubona nibura iyo imufata ntimwitumeho ngo imusuzugure kariya kageni!” Barasimbuka bamukura munsi y'icukiro maze Mvuyekure ati"Data wamenya ngo yarazi ibizambaho!!!! ayi weeeeeeeee, nimumpoze ndi gushyaaaaaa!” Baramuhoza agizengo arorohehewe habe no gusezera ku mugore n'abana batari bakamenya ibyabaye kuri Mvuyekure; ntiyarara i Rusumo asubira kwibohera ibitebo i Gikongoro ati" Utazi ivubura ry'imvubu ajye ayiganira!!”

 

26. KATABIRORA KA RUZAGIRIZA

Umugabo Kinyogote yakuviriye mu Ndorwa ajya gusura mucuti we Katabirora wari utuye i Bwishaza. Kinyogote ageze mu nzira, Katabirora amuhamagara kuri twa duterefoni bagendana mu ntoki. Aramubwira ati "uze kwihangana urasanga tudahari." None reka nkurangire uko ugera iwanjye. Nugera ku irembo, nta kibazo umuzamu aragukingurira. Urugi rwinjira mu nzu na rwo nta kibazo rugutera, twahaye umuzamu urufunguzo aragufungurira. Ikibazo ni ukuntu ugera mu cyumba cy'uruganiriro ngo uze kuba wiruhukira. Numara kwinjira mu nzu uratambika mu kirongozi, nugera imbere ukate ibumoso noneho uze kubona urugi rusize irangi ry'icyatsi kibisi. Narwo ntirufunze, ariko byakurushya kurufungura kuko umuzamu adashobora kwinjira mu nzu ngo agufashe. Ubwo uraza kuzamura nk'ikirenge ufatishe kuri serrure ufungure. Cyangwa se wakoresha n'inkokora." Kinyogote ati "ese ndinda nkoresha ikirenge cyangwa inkokora kubera iki, kandi mfite intoki ?' Katabirora ati "niba ari ibyo subira inyuma utahe iwanyu. Jye nari nzi ko izo ntoki zose ziba zicigatiye urwagwa n'andi mafunguro unzaniye, bityo ntubone uko ufungura. None ndumva ugomba kuba uje imbokoboko. Abashyitsi nkawe ntibisanga kwa Katabirora ka Ruzagiriza."

 

27.  NZANYE UBURA

Umugabo wari warayogoje akarere yagiye kwiba noneho ajyana umwaku. Ageze aho yiba asanga bamwiteguye bamutera igitosho ubura buraza. Sibwo asubiye iwe yandara. Umugore we yari yasigaye yaritse amazi yo gusonga ubugari ngo ngaha umugabo we arazana imboga. Umugabo arataha ageze ku rugi iwe arakomanga.

 Umugore ati “ni nde?
” Umugabo ati ni jyewe.”
 “Uzanye iki?” 
“Nzanye ubura.” 
Umugore ati “zana mugabo nkunda nabwo burya ubugari.”
 Ngo yakwinjira umugore asanga ni intere, amazi yo kuvuga ubugari arayamukandisha.

 

28. NGIRIRA VUBA IZINDI ZIRANSHITSE

 

Bihehe  yagiye kwicuza ibyaha kwa Padiri, noneho irondora ibyaha byayo, igeza aho ivuga yuko yariye intama z'abandi. Igihe ikibivuga ibona izindi zirahise, iti "padiri ngirira vuba dore izindi zirancitse"

28. UBUSE TURATANDUKANA TUTONGEYE

Ntacyo nakongeraho mana yanjye. Ariko rero ntabwo nshatse kuba nk'uyu mukobwa.
Umukobwa yateze lift imuvana i Kampala agana i Kigali, kubw'amahirwe ikamyo irahagarara iramutwara. Kubera kuremererwa yagendaga buke bituma barara nzira kabiri kose. Bari kugera i Kigali, umukobwa nibwo ateruye, ati "buriya ejo nzahita njya kwicuza icyaha cy'uko nasambanye gatatu". Umushoferi, ati "kereka niba hari undi wari wahaye kuko jyewe twabikoze kabiri gusa!" Umukobwa amusubiza ababaye cyane, ati "ubu se koko turatandukana tutongeye?!" 

29. IRI FUNGURO URIHE UMUGISHA

Umushakashatsi yinjiye mu ishyamba maze akubitana n'intare. Akanura maremare maze arivugisha ati"Mana yanjye ukore ku buryo iyi ntare igutekereza kandi ibe yarabatijwe"! Intare nayo iti"Mana iri funguro urihe umugisha"

30. FUNGURA AMASO NTUTURI MUCYUMBA SHERI

Umugore n'umugabo bavuye i Nyamirambo bagiye muri wikendi(week-end ) i Cyangugu bihuta dore ko bakundaga ibitoki byaho byokeje na brosheti. Ni uko umugabo akaba yari afite imodoka imaze iminsi ivuye muri garaji. Imodoka ayiha umwuka n'umuriro maze mu muhanda ivumbi ribura agatebo. Umugore agira ubwoba abonye ko umugabo we yirukaga cyane asiga ibiti n'umuyaga. Abwira umugabo ati "uritonde mu makoni mfite ubwoba sheri, ntiwongere gukata utagabanyije vitensi  mfite ubwoba bwo kugwa kandi nshobora kugwa munsi y'umuhanda". Umugabo ubwo yumvaga bimugoye kuko imodoka yari yayiririmbishije karahava. Ni uko nyamugabo  asubiza umugore we ati" kora nkanjye kugirango utagira ubwoba". Umugore avuga cyane ati"sinumva ibyo uvugaaaa". Umugabo ati "funga amaso mu ikoni nkanjye ntacyo uba". Umugore ati"mbabarira ufungure amaso ntituri mu cyumba sheriiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

 

31. ABAGABO BABIRI NAWE WAGATATU NAHIGAGA

- Umugore yinjiye muri kabari maze arabukwa umugabo wari wambaye zahabu ku maboko , ku ntoki no mu josi maze aramubwira ati « mbega ngo abantu barasa ntacyo bapfana ! Uzi ko usa neza neza n’umugabo wanjye wa gatatu » ! Umugabo arumirwa dore ko amaso yari ayo maze abaza umugore ati «Kuki nsa n’uwo mugabo wawe ? aho nsa nawe ni hehe ? Wagize abagabo bangahe ?» umugore ati «  nagize abagabo babiri nawe wa gatatu nahigaga ».

32. UMURWAYI WO MUMUTWE

Umusazi yagiye kwivuza i Ndera noneho abwira muganga ati « buri joro ndota ndi imbere y’urugi ndusunika, ndusunika ariko rukanga gufunguka ». Muganga ati « ese kuri urwo rugi haba handitseho iki ? » Umusazi ati « handitseho ko umuntu agomba  kurukurura kugira ngo rukinguke, ariko nanga kurukurura ngo bene rwo batagirango ndiba ! Uranteye maaaa ! » Muganga ati « winjiye ute hano ? » Umusazi afumyamo ariruka !

33. NINDEGE NDAZO DUFITE

Umupadiri w'umuzungu yasomeye misa abakristu bo mu Busasamana. Baza kugera aho baririmba ya ndirimbo yitwa "Yezu waje kubana natwe." Hari igitero bagezeho rero gituma padiri agwa mu kantu, kuko bose icyarimwe baririmbaga ngo 'ndaco tugira kiri kiza, n'indege ndazo dufite, nditubasha kugira neza...." Padiri ati "oya murekere aho, ntimwirirwe mukomeza." Si bwo padiri asubiye muri sakristiya akiyambura imyambaro ya misa. Abakuru b'inama ya paruwasi baza kumureba, ngo bamenye icyatumye ahagarika misa. Padiri ati "bimaze iki gusomera misa abantu ngo badashobora kugira neza kuko badafite indege?  Jyewe ubwanjye ntimwabonye ko ngendera mu modoka ishaje? None abantu badafite n'amagare batangiye kuririra indege, bakagerekaho no kubiririmba mu misa, ngo niyo mpamvu badashobora kugira neza?"

34. KU MUGORE WANJYE NKUNDA…

Umugabo yagiye muri hoteri asangamo mudasobwa (computer) ahita yihutira kwandikira umugore we yari yasize mu rugo ubwo yajyaga mu rugendo rw’akazi. Agiye kurwohereza yibeshyaho gato e-mail y’umugore we ayohereza ku mugore wari wapfushije umugabo uwo munsi. Uwo mugore wari wapfushije umugabo yabaye akiva gushyingura umugabo we nawe yihutira kujya kuri mudasobwa yibwira ko wenda hari abo mu muryango we baba bamwandikiye bamusaba kwihangana, ariko akimara gusoma ibaruwa ya mbere ahita yikubita hasi. Maze umuhungu we aje amukurikiye asanga kuri mudasobwa hariho ibaruwa igira ati: Ku mugore wanjye nkunda cyane, Impamvu: Nagezeyo amahoro Ndabizi ko bigutangaje kubona iyi baruwa kuko utakekaga ko nabona uko nkwandikira ariko nasanze ino naho basigaye bafite za mudasobwa. Kandi bemerera abantu kwandikira abakunzi babo. Ubu tuvugana maze akanya gato ngezeyo, banyeretse icyumba nzabamo, gusa irungu riranyishe ngiye kukwitegura nawe ejo uzaze, ndizera ko uzabona abaguherekeza nk’uko nanjye mwamperekeje, bizu ni ahejo. Uzagire urugendo rwiza.
Isekere!

35. SI URURINGITI SE ?

Bamwe babyita “Urwenya”, abandi babyita “Byenda gusetsa”, hakaba n’ababyita “Nyereka inyinya” Uko wowe waba ubyita kose, n’iyo wamwenyura gusa, uba uruhuye ubwonko.
Umwarimukazi yatanze ikizamini cyo kuririmba, mu mwaka wa kabiri w’amashuri abanza.
Kuririmba ni kimwe mu byo abana bakunda cyane, ku buryo mu kizamini hari n’abaririmbaga, indirimbo, yaba itararangira akaba yatangiye indi.Dore ko no kuririmba abana babikora nk’umukino batibuka ko ari n’ikizami. Benshi baririmbaga za zindi z’abana zimenyerewe nka:
* Mbe Kanyamanza keza, ko mbona wishimye,…
* Iyo tugenda kuri gahunda,…
* Icunga, icunga ni igiti gitangaje,…
* Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,…
* Mama Sipesiyoza yazanye amata,…
* N’izindi ziva inda imwe n’izi zo hejuru
Mwalimukazi ageze ku kana kamwe k’agakobwa kaba karahagurutse, kagendana ibakwe gatangira kuririmba n’ijwi riranguruye ari nako gakora ibimenyetso (gestes) bijyanye n’indirimbo, mwalimukazi arumirwa agwa mu kantu!
Ako gakobwa kati “… Urwo ngukunda sinaruhishahisha, Nzaruvuga hose,ni urw’igiciro cyinshi, nzarwambara ku manywa, nijoro ndwiyorose, …” Umwarimukazi aba aravuze ati ceceka! Umwana ati sinyizi se mwali? Undi ati “Ibyo uri kuririmba ni ibiki, urwo uvuga uzambara ku manywa nijoro ukarwiyoroza ni uruki warumenyeye he?”
Ubwo umwarimu ntiyiyumvishaga ukuntu agakobwa k’imyaka umunani kaba kazi iby’urukundo bigeze aho.
Akana kamusubiza katajijinganga kati “Si ururingiti se?” Umwalimu atajuyaje yagahaye atanu kuri atanu ati genda wiyicarire. Abandi bana basigara mu rujijo batazi iyo biva n’iyo bijya!
Ese wowe urwo ruringiti waba urwiyorosa iwawe/iwanyu? Ese ku manywa waba urwambara?
Niba nawe ushaka ko tumwenyura, gira icyo wandika hasi aho mutangira ibitekerezo.


36. Ubwo umugabo yajyaga gusaba umugeni atazi Ikinyarwanda

Umugabo yagiye gusaba umugeni atazi Ikinyarwanda, gusa akaba azi ko agomba gukoresha imigani ya Kinyarwanda isanzwe kuko yari azi ko imigani yose isobanura kimwe, ko bihagije ko haba hari amagambo ari muri iyo migani kandi ahuye n’ ayo yakoresheje mw’ ijambo avuze.
Uti:” byagenze bite rero?” 
Nyir’ ugusabwa umugeni (umusaza Karekezi) yatanze ikaze asaba umukwe mukuru(umusaza Kanyamibwa) gutambuka agasoma ku nzoga babazaniye ngo amanure akavumbi.
Umusaza Kanyamibwa agiye kuyisomaho aravuga ati: «Murakoze muzehe Karekezi kutwemerera gusoma ku nzoga n’ubundi baca umugani ngo “ushaka urupfu asoma impyisi”» abari aho bose bagwa mu kantu bagira ngo aribeshye!
Hashize akanya imisango iba iratangiye, Umusaza Kanyamibwa ahabwa umwanya ati: ” …umusore wacu yabaye aho ashaka mu gihugu hose umugeni yashima nyuma aza gushimana n’ umukobwa wanyu, burya mu Kinyarwanda baravuga ngo: “Ubuze inda yica umugi”, abari aho noneho barumirwa.
Arakomeza ati: ”Yambwiye ko yashimanye n’ inkumi yanyu kandi murabizi ko mu muco wacu bavuga ngo: “Nta nkumi yigaya kuko n’ irwaye igisebe iravuga ngo izarongorwa”, rero yasabye umubano umukobwa wanyu nawe arabyemera adatinze dore ko baca umugani ngo “Utaranigwa agaramye agira ngo ijuru riri hafi. None rero nk’ uko umukobwa wanyu yiyemereye kubana akaramata n’ umuhungu wanyu, kandi mu Kinyarwanda bakaba bavuga ngo “Urwishigishiye ararusoma” niyo mpamvu twabazaniye inkwano,………
Kuko: ”ubuze uko agira agwa neza”.
Umusaza Karekezi, nk’ umusangwa mukuru aba afashe ijambo ati: “Ntituguha umugeni wacu dore umukobwa wacu aracyari umwana kandi ga aracyari mu mashuri ngo yongere n’ ubwenge(aha ni kwa kundi abasaza baba bari kugorana mu misango).
Nuko umusaza Kanyamibwa, mu gusubiza arihanukira ati: ”Rwose mugerageze muce inkoni izamba, nibyo koko umukobwa wanyu aracyari umwana burya murabizi baravuga ngo: ”Ntukabone ifundi ngo uyite umwana w’ inyoni, rwose umuhungu wacu azamurera kuko akuze
kandi murabizi burya ngo: “Ubugabo si ubutumbi”, hanyuma byo kuba ari n’ umunyabwenge rwose ni byiza natwe umuhungu wacu yaraminuje kandi ga baravuga ngo “Utazi ubwenge ashima ubwe”. None rero musaza Karekezi twiteguye kubaha inkwano amashyo y’ inka yose mushaka , dore nawe urakuze ngirango urazi ko “Uhongera umwanzi amara inka”.
Uhagarariye umuryango usabwa arumirwa, noneho ibyo gusabwa birahinduka bati: ”Nta mugeni wacu tubaha kuko muducira amarenga ko umwana wacu twaba tumuroshye”.
Umusaza Kanyamibwa mu gusubiza aciye bugufi nk’ utakamba ati: ”Rwose muvandimwe Karekezi, abakuru bajya bavuga ngo “Ukwimye ibishyimbo aba akurinze imisuzi”, none rwose nimutwemerere tubakwere dore “akatari amagara barahaha”.
Umuryango uratsimbarara uti: ”Nta mugeni tubaha yemwe ahubwo nimwitahire muri gutinda muzababwire batume undi abe ariwe uza gusaba umugeni“.
Umusaza Kanyamibwa mu gusubiza ati: “Yego rwose turemeranya burya “Intumwa n’ uwayitumye barangana”, kandi “kuntuma ni nko kwituma cyangwa kwigirayo”.
None rero “utakwambuye aragukerereza “ Mumpe umugeni rwose. Ariko mumumpa, mutamumpa , Mumenye ngo “N’i Nyagasambu rirarema”, mwitwima umugeni rwose mba ndoga Fundi. abari aho bose bataha bazinze umunya.



37. RYANGOMBE NTIYICA 


Kera mu Rwanda habagaho ibihe by’inzara nka RUZAGAYURA RUMANULIBABA GAKWEGE n’izindi………….. 
Abantu bagasonza bamwe bagasuhuka abadahunze inzara yabarembya bagashaka ukuntu bajya kwiba mu bakungu. Abo bakungu bo babaga barahunitse ibishyimbo amasaka ibigoli akavura kaba kaguye bagatanga imyaka abantu bakabahingira bakongera bakeza ibitoki, ibijumba n’ibindi……….. 
Aliko bakizera ko babikesha RYANGOMBE bakabandwa bagaterekera. 
Abantu bajya kwiba ibitoki mu milima yabo umukuru w’umulyango agakoranya abantu bo ku musozi bose bakaza kurahira kugirango bamenye uwibye kubera gutinya RYANGOMBE abenshi barafatwaga bakishyura bakaba ruvumwa ku musozi ngo ni ibisambo 
Bukeye SERWILI na ZIMULINDA biga ubwenge bwo kuzajya biba ibitoki kandi bakarahira RYANGOMBE ntibice. 
ZIMULINDA abwira SERWILI ati dore uko tuzabigenza mu gicuku uzajya uza tugende nitugera hafi y’imilima nzajya ngushyira ku rutugu ufashe umuhoro ujye ugenda utemagura ibitoki byitura hasi. 
Umunsi wo kurahira wowe uzarahira uti: Jyewe SERWILI aya maguru yanjye akigera akandagira mu milima ngo ngiye kwiba ibitoki iyo RYANGOMBE inyice. 

ZIMULINDA nawe agatoragura bya bitoki abivana mu milima bakikorera bakitahira umunsi wo kurahira nawe ati: Jyewe ZIMULINDA aya maboko yanjye akigera afata umuhoro agatema ibitoki iyo RYANGOMBE inyice. 
Ibitoki barabyiba byinshi uko bashoboye mu gitondo induru ziravuga ngo abantu nibaze bashoke barahire RYANGOMBE SERWILI na ZIMULINDA bahageze mu bambere 
Aliko abantu barabakekaga batangiye kurahira bose bategereza ko bagiye gufatwa cyangwa gupfa bararahira nibapfa bataha bakubita agatwenge. 

Batara ibitoki ibindi barateka kwiba babigira umwuga . Bukeye bahishije urwagwa batumira inshuti yabo RWAJEKARE barasangira bamaze gusinda SERWILI arirahira ati:mba ndoga RUKARA rwa BISHINGWE reka mbabwire abapfumu baratubeshya RYANGOMBE ntiyica. 

38.  Byagenze bitya! 

Umugabo yakubise undi urushyi maze ajya kumurega bageze aho baburaniraga barababaza bati byagenze bite? Ni uko wa mugabo ava hasi akubita mugenzi we urundi rushyi ati byagenze gutya                                  

 

39. Wari ufashe iki ? 

Umusaza yagiye gutera urubariro hamwe n'umukecuru we, noneho burira urutara batangira gukora ibyo bifuzaga, maze bimaze kugera hagati wa musaza yaje gusunika cyane maze wa mukecuru yitura hasi, maze wa musaza amukankamira agira ati:"Ubwo urabona nk'ubu njye ko nari nyifashe wowe wari ufashe iki ngo turinde twagwa!" 

 

39. Zigenda zitya ! 

Abagabo babiri bagiye kuburana inka; bageze mu rukiko umucamanza ati:"Izo nka muburana zigenda zite?" Maze umwe muri ba bagabo arunama atangira gukambakamba ati:"Zigenda zitya!"

40. Amabinga 

Umugabo w'amabinga yahuye n'ufite amenyo maremare maze ufite amenyo maremare ati:"Mu bw'inturo amasaka areze(ashaka kumuvugiraho ko afite amabinga nk'inturo)". Undi aramusubiza ati:"Areze ariko isatura ziyamereye nabi(amuvugiraho ko afite amenyo nkayisatura)!"

41. Dusabe... 

Umukobwa witwaga Dusabe ngo wari wiyiziho ko ari igitangaza yagiye mu misa none ngo padiri avuze ngo "Dusabe...." Mu gihe atarakomeza undi ati:"Karame padi; ese nawe wamenye ko ndi hano!?" 

42. Guma aho nzane n'undi! 
umugabo imodoka yamugongeye umwana noneho wa mushoferi kubera ubwoba amuha 5000frw. Ubwo rero kuko uwo mugabo yari umukene abwira wa mushoferi ati:"Guma aho njye kuzana n'uwasigaye mu rugo!".

43. Nanjye sinatashye ubwawe! 

Umusaza yabwiye umwuzukuru we ati:"Mwana wanjye mbabajwe nuko ngiye kuzapfa ntatashye ubukwe bwawe!" Uwo mwana aramusubiza ati:"Ntibikubabaze kuko nanjye sinatashye ubwawe!" 

 

44.Umwana utuzuye mumutwe 

Umwana utuzuye mu mutwe yaryamye ku gitanda , bigeze mu gicuku aratota , arahanuka yikubita hasi. Ubwo arabyuka , arikandakanda asubira mu buriri .
Hahise akanya arongera ararota arahanuka yitura hasi , hamwe yituye uwa mbere ....! Noneho arabyuka araseka cyane yishimye ngo "mbega Imana ngize weee , ubu iyo mba ntahagurutse ngo               nsubire ku gitanda mba NIGUYE HEJURU...". 

45. Umugabo n'umugore 
Umugabo n'umugore bariho batera urubariro, bari ku rutara rwabo, umwana wabo muto abaryamye iruhande. Mu gihe bari mu byabo, umugore yumva umwana ararira kuko yari yaguye hasi. Abwiye umugabo ngo nareke ajye kumureba, umugabo aramubwira ngo : "Mwihorere inyundo icura abandi iracyakora neza, kandi nawe urabyiyumvira".
46. Umugabo wakundaga inyama 

Umugabo wakundaga inyama yasize umugore we agiye kubaga isake mu gitondo , ajya ku kazi !! Ariko aho ari mu mirimo yicara arota rusake ....
Kera kabaye nko mu ma saa tanu aradomoka arataha , ageze mu rugo asanga madame agiye kugura ubufu , urugi rwari rwegetseho !
Umugabo yihina mu gikoni , inkoko ayihera mu maguru ....ayitapfuna yitonze ,...ayigeza ku gutwi ....Reka kuvuga igufa , nyamugabo n' amajanja yarayanuye...n'ibikohwa , umenya ntacyo yasize inyuma !! Arangije asohoka ntawe umubonye arigendera !! ...Hagati aho ariko indangamuntu ye yari mu mufuka w' ishati yari yaguye mu isafuriya , ariko umugabo w' amerwe ntiyabibona !
Nyamugore arataha , arebye mu isafuriya asanga hibereyemo isupu gusa ...Inyama zagiye hehe ?? Mbaza nkubaze !! Cyakora agize amahirwe abonamo ya ndangamuntu , yitegereje neza abona ni iya patron. Na we arayarura , ayishyira mu gisuperi ukwayo , ubundi arinumira !
Umugabo ataha saa sita induru ari ndende ngo arashonje umugore azana isupu , n' ikindi gisuperi ku ruhande gipfundikiye neza ...
Umugabo ntapfunduye cya gisuperi ahita yiyamirira ...."Ye baba weee ....Ariko koko uyu mugore nzamwigisha ngereze hehe ?? Sinakunwiye ko IYO UMUGORE AKARANZE INKOKO CYANE , BIGERA AHO IGAHINDUKA IBYANGOMBWA BY' UMUGABO WE ?? "... Ni uko umugabo yirira isosi gusa !

47. Umugabo na Petero 

Umuntu yarapfuye,noneho ageze hahandi ku muryango munini,ahasanga wa mugabo uli kwizamu,ayobora abapfuye aho bagomba kujya(umwe bita Petero)
Nuko Petero yereka wa muntu amuhitishamo aho yifuza kujya.
Arabanza amwereka muli PURGATOLI,wa muntu ahakubise amaso asanga impinja ziralira,zirannya,ziraruka,ati aha ntabwo nahaba. Petero arongera amwereka mw'IJURU,asanga mw'ijuru bali muli za DAWE ULI MW"IJURU........za NAKURAMUTSA MALIYA.......nandi masengesho menshi,mbese abona harakonje ,aaaabaza Petero ati mbese ntahandi?nuko Petero amwereka mu MUMULIRO UTAZIMA,ahakubise amaso,asanga harashyushye,arebye abona ibyokezo biliho za Broshete,abona abantu barabyina,baraceza,abandi baranywa inzoga z'amoko yose,abandi begetse abagore ku bibambasi barakora amahano,abandi barareba za video zo gusambana,mbese urusaku ali rwose mu mpande zose,mu kanya akabona umuntu araguye,mu kanya akabona ibibombe bilisuka ubudatuza,Aliko cyane cyane agashimishwa nuko ibintu byose yabonaga bishyushye.
Nuko wa muntu abwira Petero ati:urakoze kunyereka hano,igendere aho njya nahageze.Nuko umuntu yigira mu MULIRO awita IJURU.
Ngaho nimugire amahoro.

49. Umwana kwa Padiri 

Umwana w'Umuhungu yagiye kwa Padili gushaka Penetensiya,mbese kwicuza ibyaha.
Nuko umwana abwira Padri ati:"NASUZUGUYE ABABYEYI BANJYE"Padri aramubaza ati wabasuzuguye gute?
Nuko umwana aramubwira ati iwacu bambujije"GUSHINGA GATEBEGATOKE"ngo ntazavunika.Padri rero yali umuzungu,ayoberwa gushinga gatebe gatoke icy'alicyo.Noneho Padri abaza wa mwana ati:wabinyereka se?Umwana ati cyane rwose.Nuko umwana asohoka mu ntebe ya Penetensiya ajya mu kirongozi;aratangira alihenantura,amaboko hasi amaguru hejuru,Padili ali mu kadilishya amwitegereza,nuko umwana ararangiza asubira mu ntebe ya Penetensiya.

Nuko Abakecuru n'Abasaza mbese abantu bose bali bali ku murongo,kugirango bashake Penetensiya babonye ibyo umwana akora barumirwa barayembayemba bose barataha bagenda bavuga ngo yewe;ngo ntawashobora gutanga ikiru kimeze kuliya padri yahaye uliya mwana,noneho ugiye gushaka Penetensiya yasanga hali wa mu Padri agahita yitahira,atekereza ko amubwira gushinga gatebe gatoke. 

50. Noheli yegereje 

Noheli yegereje , umugabo ajya gusaba Penetensiya. Aricuza ibyaha byoseee , ariko ntiyavuga ibijyanye n' inkoko za Padiri. ...

Padiri :"None se warangije kwicuza ibyaha byose ??? "
Umukozi: "Yeee , narangije Padi ...."
Padiri:"None se ni nde unyibira inkoko ????"
Umugabo:" hmmmmm?? Ntabwo numva neza! Subiramo! "
Padiri:"Ninde unyibira inkoko ??? Amasake yanjye ni nde wayamaze ??"
Umugabo: "Padi ....Ntabwo ndi kumva rwose! Reka tugurane , uze hano , nanjye njye aho ....noneho mvuge nawe wumve !! burya iyo umuntu ari hano ntabwo aba yumva neza !! "
Padiri aremera , baragurana. Umugabo noneho nawe arabaza: 

Umugabo: "Padi, ninde ujya gushuka umugore wanjye iyo ndi ku kazi ???"
Padiri: " Euuuhh.... hmmm ....hmm??? Ntabwo numvise neza ..! Subiramo, numve ! "
Umugabo:"Nakubajije ngo ...Ninde unca inyuma iyo ndi ku kazi ??"
Padiri:"Ariko uzi n' ikindi ?? IYO UMUNTU ARI HANO , BURYA KOKO NTIYUMVA NEZA !! ...reka duhindure nguhe absolution, tureke gukerereza abandi bategereje !"

Umugabo abona absolution ye ! Sinjye wahera !

51. Kwambika ibara 

Umugabo utazi igifaransa yagiye muri France, noneho bamushakira umusemuzi. Baravuga bagera naho bavuga kurubyiruko, noheho wa mugabo utazi igifaransa ati: abana b’iyi ngoma bagiye kuzatwambika ibara. Umugabo abwira umusemuzi ati ngaho babwire icyo bishatse kuvuga mu magambo macye, wamusemuzi ngo agire ngo arasemura nawe ati ça veux dire que les enfants de ce tambour vont nous habiller la couleur. 

 

52. Ntawe ugereranya ibyo atazi  Abavoka (avocats/lawyers) babiri b'incuti bahaye akazi umu secrétaire mushya muri cabinet yabo. Uyu rero na we ntiyagiraga uko asa. Ni uko baratega (parier/ bet) ngo bazarebe uzaryamana na we mbere. Uwa mbere wari ufite umugore ajyayo, bukeye undi amubazanya amashyushyu menshi uko yamusanze. Aramubwira ati "ntumubone kuriya ntahambaye na mba. Nasanze arutwa n'umugore wanjye!" Bukeye wa wundi nawe ajyayo, avuyeyo umwe ufite umugore amubaza uko byagenze. Undi amusubizanya agahinda kenshi ati "ibyo wavuze nibyo man! Arutwa n'umugore wawe!" Ubwo aba yivuyemo atyo kuko ntawe ugereranya ibyo atazi!